You Know WHAT to Say. But HOW?

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There is a great Mae West quote that has become widely known, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it!”

It seems so simple and straightforward, right? Wrong. So often in life, we just assume the other person will infer our intention, meaning and empathy – or we rely on the trust or rapport we have with that person to work like a pain killer. How you say it is paramount. That includes your choice of words, your tone of voice, your body language, facial expressions, eye contact, the empathetic and active listening skills that come before you open your mouth, and the environment and timing of your message. 

Think of the last time you needed to have a conversation with a seller about dropping price, or with a purchaser about offering over the ask in a highest & best scenario. So much more important that what you say to that client in that moment is how, when, who, and why. Take a step back and look at the situation from their shoes, understand the emotional impact of what you are about to say, be empathetic, and keep focused on your ultimate goal coming out of that conversation. What do you want to happen and how does that best serve your client’s interest? You will find you are far more successful in gaining compliance, coming to agreement, and maintaining trust – making all subsequent conversations much easier as well. 

Another brilliant woman, Maya Angelou, said it even better than Mae West. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but  people will never forget how you made them feel.”

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Real Estate Imagery: A ‘Rock’ and a Hard Place

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It always amazes me how quickly the market turns, and what happens to renters and buyers as they watch the bottom disappear behind them in the rearview mirror.

A perfect recent example of this is the New York City rental market, which quickly went from high inventory, drastically reduced prices, and incentives galore in the Spring of 2021, to a dearth of inventory, dwindling free rent, and over-compensated price increases only a few months later. Timing the bottom of the rental market in 2021 was virtually impossible. For renters waiting on the sidelines, it just came and went like a passing bullet train.

At the risk of presuming too much about you – my audience – I am going to share a cocktail metaphor to help explain the turn of a market. Hopefully, this humorous bit of imagery will encourage you to think twice about attempting to “time” the bottom of the rental or sales markets, rather than taking advantage of price flexibility, loss aversion, market uncertainty, and less competition with a more aggressive strategy or by gathering more information.

Here goes…

Imagine a man sitting at the bar, sipping his favorite “on the rocks” cocktail. Maybe it’s a Gimlet with a lime wedge garnish or a Mojito with a mint sprig on a hot summer day – or a Manhattan or Martini while he waits for a quiet table in the corner.

Now, imagine you are one of the several lucky ice cubes dropped into his cocktail (yes, in this metaphor you are a ‘ROCK’!). Released from the grip of the ice tongs, you gracefully tumble to the bottom of the glass dancing and flipping with glee, eagerly anticipating being doused with alcohol and vegetation – fulfilling your lifelong ice cube dream.

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Your new, floor-to-ceiling windowed, loft-like container is served atop a fancy bar napkin to the patron, who greets you with a welcoming grin. He sips, he talks, he sips, he check out the results of the Olympic Artistic Swimming finals, he sips again. Eventually, after several swigs and nips, you and your fellow cubes begin to feel the naked liberation of fresh air and the faint glow of florescent bar signs, as you wade in a shallow pool of what little remains the alcohol. For a moment, you bask in the glow of your freedom, until you realize, your time is limited. You are warming to the temperature of the room and your environment is changing rapidly.

As you begin to melt, you do your best to resist the inevitable by clinging to the other ice cubes for comfort, and begin congeal into one unified ice rebellion at the bottom of the glass. Suddenly, the patron feels a craving for a cube of ice (and what little alcohol remains on it) to munch on, and turns toward the glass for satisfaction.

He brings the glass to his lips and angles it slightly, expecting you to slide effortlessly into his mouth, yet, nothing happens.

You hold tight, cling to the other cubes for strength, and grip the walls of the glass. He gives the glass a slightly steeper tilt, but still you will not free yourself from the group and slide to your destiny. You feel compelled to hold out just a little longer – you are waiting for the perfect time to leap. With another tilt of the glass, you curse a couple of weak water droplets and a lazy lime wedge slide by, but still you wait.

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Suddenly, he gives the glass a gentle shake and pitches the glass to a near-90-degree angle. The pure physics of the situation are against you. The cube next to you wriggles free of the congealed mass and begins to slide to the mouth of the glass. It’s at that precise moment, you and the rest of the melting cohort recognize your harsh reality – you cannot hold out any longer. It is time to go! You panic, release your hold on the bottom of the glass and plow forward as one, reckless, out of control, desperate mob. SMACK. You come to rest against his moustache hair and upper lip, completely missing his mouth.

Remember, you are rarely ever the only ‘rock’ in the glass. As the glass empties (inventory decreases) and environment changes (market or competition), the melting, congealing mass of ice (you and the other buyers or renters) – all waiting for the “right” moment to pounce – inevitably rush forward, desperately trying to win the race to the bottom. This momentum quickly shifts the power balance to the other side and the “bottom” disappears behind you.

Lesson: Instead of leaving your fortunes to physics or fate, control your path and your achieve your goal with a sound plan, strategy, preparation, persuasion, and negotiation.

My name is Eirik Davey-Gislason and I work in real estate in New York City. This blog is an opportunity for me to educate everyone who has a horror story or is on the verge of one. By sharing, preparing and advising my audience on what to expect, what is normal, what is right, and what is wrong, I hope to do my part to expose the wrong-doers and shape the future of this dysfunctional thing we call NYC Real Estate.

CERTIFIED NEGOTIATION EXPERT (CNE) – Core Concepts ONLINE | December 13-15, 2021 |Eirik Davey-Gislason, Instructor

Great news! Real Estate Negotiation Institute’s popular Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) – Core Concepts Course is now offered live ONLINE.

My next RENI Live! Online CNE-Core Concepts Seminar is December 13th – 15th from 10AM-3PM. It is also your LAST OPPORTUNITY to take the CNE-Core Concepts Course this year!

Your ability to negotiate effectively has never been more important – and successfully influencing others, building and maintaining trust-based relationships and creatively bringing deals to a close will determine your future and your clients’ success. Join Instructor Eirik Davey-Gislason for this valuable seminar and earn one of the most beneficial and sought-after designation in real estate – Certified Negotiation Expert, CNE®.

You can learn more about the CNE-Core Concepts Course here, and below are some key highlights:

  • The total investment for this seminar is $349 and includes a student manual, post-class materials, and the CNE® designationThere is no processing fee for the designation and no annual fee to keep it. Once you earn it, it is yours for life!
  • Our course content is rooted in the principles and techniques taught at the some of the country’s premiere Negotiation programs including Harvard University, the Wharton School and Stanford University.
  • CNE-Core Concepts Topics Include: Value Proposition, the Psychology of Buying, Power Balance, Negotiation Styles and Strategies, Persuasion Principles, Dealing with Common Competitive Tactics, Collaborative Best Practices, and much more!
  • My next RENI Live! Online CNE-CC seminar is December 13-15, 2021. To register for the LAST COURSE OF 2021Course, click here
  • Your Instructor, Eirik Davey-Gislason, is the CNE-CC and CNE-AC Instructor at REBNY, and a Licensed Associate Broker at Brown Harris Stevens in NYC (Village Office). He is a Master Certified Negotiation Expert, a former Director of Sales & Development (Cooper & Cooper Real Estate) and a passionate, knowledgeable and dynamic speaker. You can learn more about Eirik here.

I welcome the opportunity to speak to you about our RENI Live! CNE ONLINE seminars and why every agent should have this skillset. I look forward to seeing you in class!
Eirik

CERTIFIED NEGOTIATION EXPERT (CNE) – Core Concepts ONLINE | January 25-27, 2021 |Eirik Davey-Gislason, Instructor

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Great news! Real Estate Negotiation Institute’s popular Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) – Core Concepts Course is now offered live ONLINE.

My next RENI Live! Online CNE-Core Concepts Seminar is January 25-27.

Your ability to negotiate effectively has never been more important – and successfully influencing others, building and maintaining trust-based relationships and creatively negotiating deals to a close will determine your future and your clients’ success. Join Instructor Eirik Davey-Gislason for this valuable seminar and earn one of the most beneficial and sought-after designation in real estate – Certified Negotiation Expert, CNE®.

You can learn more about the CNE-Core Concepts Course here, and below are some key highlights:

  • Our RENI Live! Online Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) designation course is approved for continuing education credit in New York State (12 hours, including the Agency Law requirement).
  • Our course content is rooted in the principles and techniques taught at the some of the country’s premiere Negotiation programs including Harvard University, the Wharton School and Stanford University.
  • CNE-Core Concepts Topics Include: Value Proposition, the Psychology of Buying, Power Balance, Negotiation Styles and Strategies, Persuasion Principles, Dealing with Common Competitive Tactics, Collaborative Best Practices, and much more!
  • My next RENI Live! Online CNE-CC seminar starts next week, January 25-27. To register, click here
  • Your Instructor, Eirik Davey-Gislason, is the CNE-CC and CNE-AC Instructor at REBNY, and a Licensed Associate Broker at Halstead Real Estate (Village Office). He is a Master Certified Negotiation Expert, a former Director of Sales & Development (Cooper & Cooper Real Estate) and a passionate, knowledgeable and dynamic speaker. You can learn more about Eirik here.
  • The total investment for this seminar is $249 if you apply the $50 coupon code EDG20-CC50! There is no processing fee for the designation and no annual fee to keep it. Once you earn it, it is yours for life!

I welcome the opportunity to speak to you about our RENI Live! CNE seminars and why every agent should have this skill-set. I look forward to seeing you in class!

With Gratitude,
Eirik

Getting a “YES” in an Unpredictable and Challenging Market

Offer your clients a reason to say “YES” in an uncertain and challenging market!

If your clients reduce their decision to purchase, sell or rent to a single variable – PRICE – they have succumbed to the fixed pie mentality.

If it becomes all about price, we have a win/lose proposition on our hands; every dollar gained by the seller or landlord is a dollar lost by the buyer or renter. One winner, one loser. 

With that perspective, it is no wonder they are saying to themselves:

“What do I LOSE by purchasing today?”

“What do I GAIN by waiting until tomorrow, next month or next year?”

Help your client look at the decision through a different lens, stay focused on their GOAL, and reveal the benefits of a changed perspective as a way to achieve those goals.

Ask them to ask themselves the opposite question:

“What do I LOSE by waiting?

“What do I GAIN by purchasing today?”

By looking at the decision from different angles your client can expand the list of what is important to them beyond just price. They will develop a more fulsome view of what “winning” looks like. And you will have served your clients’ interests by offering them a good reason to say, “YES” to the right opportunity. 

That is what we call a true WIN-WIN.

__________________________________

My next Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) Core Concepts course starts next week! (Monday, June 29 – Wednesday, July 1).

I am offering a $50 discount off of the $299 Online price for a limited time!

The code is EDG20-CC50 and the registration link can be found here.

Course Video Invite

RENI Live! ONLINE CNE-Core Concepts Course | May 26-28, 2020

Great news! Real Estate Negotiation Institute’s popular Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) – Core Concepts Course is now offered live ONLINE. My next RENI Live! Online CNE-CC Course will take place May 26-28 from 10AM-3PM (with a one-hour lunch each day).

Your ability to negotiate effectively has never been more important – and successfully influencing others, building and maintaining trust-based relationships and creatively bringing deals to a close will determine your future and your clients’ success. Join Instructor Eirik Davey-Gislason for this valuable seminar and earn one of the most beneficial and sought-after designation in real estate – Certified Negotiation Expert, CNE®.

You can learn more about the CNE-Core Concepts Course here, and below are some key highlights:

  • Our RENI Live! Online Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE®) designation course is approved for continuing education credit in New York State (12 hours, including the Agency Law requirement).
  • Our course content is rooted in the principles and techniques taught at the some of the country’s premiere Negotiation programs including Harvard University, the Wharton School and Stanford University.
  • CNE-Core Concepts Topics Include: Value Proposition, the Psychology of Buying, Power Balance, Negotiation Styles and Strategies, Persuasion Principles, Dealing with Common Competitive Tactics, Collaborative Best Practices, and much more!
  • My next RENI Live! Online CNE-CC seminar starts next week, April 28-30. To register for the May 26-28 Course, click here
  • Your Instructor, Eirik Davey-Gislason, is the CNE-CC and CNE-AC Instructor at REBNY, and a Licensed Associate Broker at Halstead Real Estate (Village Office). He is a Master Certified Negotiation Expert, a former Director of Sales & Development (Cooper & Cooper Real Estate) and a passionate, knowledgeable and dynamic speaker. You can learn more about Eirik here.
  • The total investment for this seminar is $299 and includes a student manual, post-class materials, CE credit and the CNE® designation. There is no processing fee for the designation and no annual fee to keep it. Once you earn it, it is yours for life!

I welcome the opportunity to speak to you about our RENI Live! CNE seminars and why every agent should have this critical education, and I look forward to seeing you in class!

With Gratitude,
Eirik

RENI Live! ONLINE CNE-Core Concepts Course | April 28-30, 2020

Great news! Real Estate Negotiation Institute’s popular Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE) – Core Concepts Course is now offered live ONLINE. The first RENI Live! Online CNE-CC Course will take place April 28-30 from 10AM-3PM (with a one-hour lunch each day).

Your ability to negotiate effectively has never been more important – and successfully influencing others, building and maintaining trust-based relationships and creatively bringing deals to a close will determine your future and your clients’ success. Join Instructor Eirik Davey-Gislason for this valuable seminar and earn one of the most beneficial and sought-after designation in real estate – Certified Negotiation Expert, CNE©.

You can learn more about the CNE-Core Concepts Course here, and below are some key highlights:

  • Our RENI Live! Online Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE) designation course is approved for continuing education credit in New York State (12 hours, including the Agency Law requirement).
  • Our course content is rooted in the principles and techniques taught at the some of the country’s premiere Negotiation programs including Harvard University, the Wharton School and Stanford University.
  • CNE-Core Concepts Topics Include: Value Proposition, the Psychology of Buying, Power Balance, Negotiation Styles and Strategies, Persuasion Principles, Dealing with Common Competitive Tactics, Collaborative Best Practices, and much more!
  • My next RENI Live! Online CNE-CC seminar starts next week, April 28-30. To register for the April 28-30 Course, click here
  • Your Instructor, Eirik Davey-Gislason, is the CNE-CC and CNE-AC Instructor at REBNY, and a Licensed Associate Broker at Halstead Real Estate (Village Office). He is a Master Certified Negotiation Expert, a former Director of Sales & Development (Cooper & Cooper Real Estate) and a passionate, knowledgeable and dynamic speaker. You can learn more about Eirik here.
  • The total investment for this seminar is $299 and includes a student manual, post-class materials, CE credit and the CNE© designation. There is no processing fee for the designation and no annual fee to keep it. Once you earn it, it is yours for life!

I welcome the opportunity to speak to you about our RENI Live! CNE seminars and why every agent should have this critical education, and I look forward to seeing you in class!

With Gratitude,
Eirik

Bio: Eirik Davey-Gislason, MCNE | Instructor

Eirik Davey-Gislason – Eirik has excelled in residential real estate in New York City for 14 years as a Salesperson, Trainer, Mentor, Coach, Manager, and Director of Sales. His expertise and experience in collaborative negotiation, deal management, and conflict resolution, as well as his industry knowledge and reputation as both a sales director and agent provide Eirik with a very unique and valuable perspective, skillset and resume.

Eirik is a passionate and dynamic Instructor and speaker, and has presented to audiences across the United States. He is a successful, working agent with Halstead Real Estate and serves as a private real estate coach assisting new and experienced agents elevate their business through motivational coaching, industry knowledge, reputation building, and best practices. Eirik has earned the Master Certified Negotiation Expert designation and, as an Instructor for the Real Estate Negotiation Institute, teaches core and advanced collaborative negotiation training courses. As a writer and author of the real estate blog, Unreal Estate, Eirik educates the industry and public on various aspects of the real estate market and process, and he has been featured and quoted in articles in The Real Deal, Curbed and Brick Underground.


Eirik is originally from Minnesota and a proud graduate of St. Olaf College. He lives in Jackson Heights, Queens with his wife and two daughters where he serves as co-Chair of Friends of Diversity Plaza, a member of the Real Estate Board of New York’s Rental Committee and Queens Committee, a member of NYRAC+ and a board member of the St. Olaf College Alumni Board of Directors. Eirik has been recognized for his community service and activism with a citation from the New York City Council, and he is a proud recipient of the JHBG “Good Neighbor” Award. 

Awards: Winner, World’s Best Dad (2012-2015, 2017, 2019)

  •  “This was an amazing class! And it was mainly because of you, your knowledge and enthusiasm came across beautifully. I learn so much from it and I feel so confident because I understand what I was doing and what I will be doing going forward in my Real Estate career and life.  I was so excited when I came home and told my husband about the class that he even commented on how much I enjoyed the class.” – Jackie S.
  • “Thank you very much for following up and for teaching such an incredible class.  I really learned a lot and gained new perspective on negotiating skills and moving forward will definitely incorporate things that I learned with my clients (i.e. buyers/sellers).  Initially I wanted to take this class as a refresher and to enhance my skills in general in the real estate industry as a licensed agent. I really enjoyed the class and also the role-play at the end of the second day.  You definitely made the class very enjoyable and I really appreciated your insight, past experiences, and stories that you shared.” – Lawrence H.
  • You are an awesome teacher – knowledgeable, polite, and fun. It was very intensive material and you managed it very actively and in a fun way, so it wasn’t boring at all. The practical negotiation at the end was like the cherry on the top. I could understand and apply in a practical way what you taught us, embracing all that I learned. Thank you so much =)” – Daniela D.
  •  “Thank you so much, you are truly a gifted and inspirational instructor.  My negotiation skills will never be the same and yes, I will always ‘name it to tame it.’” – Nancy P.
  • “Thanks for a very informative two days! I really enjoyed your class and look forward to doing the next one in the series!” – Teresa W.
  • “Thanks Eirik. That was the most I learned in two days in decades.” – Wendy G.
  • “Thank you for an awesome class!  Great information, and you presented in an excellent manner.  It was obvious that you practice what you preach.  Thanks again.” – Josephine V.